


The Doe Eyed Boy

by The_Problematic_Blender



Series: "This is going to Hell in a hand basket real fast!" [14]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Angst, Character Death, Crimes & Criminals, Cutting, Death, Depression, Fake AH Crew, Gay, If You Want Gay Feels Come On In, M/M, Same-Sex Marriage, hella gay, super hella gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Problematic_Blender/pseuds/The_Problematic_Blender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever fallen in love with a doe eyed boy? Someone who looks so sweet be can cause so much pain? Because Jeremy fell hard for a doe eyed boy, someone with a smile like the sun and words sweet like honey, and ended up with indescribable, intense feelings of pain and worry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Doe Eyed Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Summary: "No matter what she's doing, or what she's trying to accomplish, just when her goal is within her reach, it gets yanked away. Every, single, time. Can you imagine what that's like?"  
> -Church describing Tex to Washington, AKA, how The_Problematic_Blender writes Jeremy/Trevor
> 
> A/N: Jesus the summary makes it look like Trevor is a manipulator. No they love e/o I promise.

Jeremy knew that he was in trouble as soon as he fell in love with that doe eyed boy. He could feel it deep inside, a feeling that was a mix of fear and excitement. Trevor and Jeremy had always been great friends, working together since they were barely adults. It wasn't a total surprise, for they always had the occasional intimate moment, such as Trevor sitting in only his boxers while Jeremy stitches up a bullet wound in Trevor's upper thigh.

Because Trevor had a birth defect called CIPA that made it impossible to feel pain, it also made it impossible for Trevor to notice injuries. So Jeremy took it upon himself to make sure Trevor doesn't accidentally die from infection or blood loss. Trevor would get injured somewhere and Jeremy would always patch him up, no matter where it was (see last sentence in paragraph above) and made sure Trevor ate three meals a day because he also can't feel when his stomach hurts. It was strict scheduling that the two fought to maintain, because one misstep and it was a long time to get back into it.

Trevor took it upon himself to take Jeremy to do all the things Jeremy has never done. Jeremy's family scrapped just barely above the poverty line, and so he never had experiences like most other kids had. Trevor dragged Jeremy to the movies, a bowling alley, a water park, a mini golf course, a laser tag arena, a go kart place, an amusement park; and Jeremy always had a smile, either from the fun he was having or just the fact that Trevor cared enough to bring Jeremy to these places and experience these things.

Jeremy never had a history of being the most mentally stable person. He always suffered from chronic depression, from his parents never being able to be there for him to literally seeing his parents dead on the floor on his eighteenth birthday. That fucked Jeremy up, and because of it he sometimes didn't make the best decision. But Trevor was the first one to care, to actually value Jeremy's life, and sometimes all someone needs to live another day is someone who cares. Trevor never judged him (never understood it, but never judged him) about it, and always celebrated the little things with Jeremy, the small things no one else would have noticed. Maybe Trevor taking Jeremy to do things was to keep Jeremy's mind off his depression, but Trevor would never admit it and Jeremy would never ask it.

The two were basically inseparable.

So when Jeremy killed every last person in the place that Trevor was being held captive and was hugging Trevor tightly and crying about how worried he was into Trevor's shirt afterwards, Jeremy realized how much he has fallen for that doe eyed boy he cared so much about.


	2. Was My Guardian Angel

Jeremy made sure Trevor never found out his nasty habit of cutting. He developed it a few months after his parents died, and now at the age of 19, he was doing it for nearly a year and a half. It became automatic to go to the bathroom and break his skin with a blade when Trevor went to get food or something else. He made sure never to do it when Trevor was home, even behind the locked bathroom door. Jeremy didn't want to Trevor to know, it would just be easier if he didn't. He didn't need to, anyway.

But not everything lasts forever.

Five months after they first met, living in the grand old city of Chicago, and Jeremy was a bit reckless when Trevor left to get takeout, waiting ten seconds before going to the bathroom and pulling his pocket knife out. He didn't bother to close the door, just wanting to get it done quickly. He sat on the edge of the tub, hesitating before pushing the knife into the skin of his middle forearm. The pain came almost instantly, a fresh memory from three nights ago. Jeremy let out an instinctive hiss at the pain as he felt all the tension temporarily leave his body as blood started to bead. The tension came back faster than he anticipated, and he made another cut above the fresh one.

Jeremy was so preoccupied with what he was doing, he didn't hear Trevor coming back, having forgotten something. Trevor saw the bathroom light on and door open, and looked in, and couldn't hold back a gasp when he saw Jeremy. Jeremy shot his head up to see Trevor, and a wave of guilt hit him hard. He couldn't say anything, and watched helplessly as Trevor ran from the doorway. He looked sorrowly as he slipped down from the tub wall to the floor. He got reckless and now Trevor caught him. He was royally screwed, there was no way he could stay with Trevor anymore.

Jeremy was surprised to see Trevor come back, sitting next to Jeremy with bandages in hand. Jeremy tried to pull away, but Trevor didn't allow that, just grabbing Jeremy's arm and scooting himself closer. He pulled the knife out of Jeremy's hand before wrapped the bandages around Jeremy's self induced injuries, and Jeremy felt like crying. Trevor shouldn't be caring for him, he didn't deserve to be cared for. He was a waste of space.

Trevor finished with the bandages, and as soon as he did, he grabbed Jeremy for a hug. “I care for you, Jeremy.” Trevor mumbled quietly as he held Jeremy tight. “I need you to know that.” Jeremy actually did start crying, overwhelmed with embarrassment, joy, and fear. “I care about you. I care about you and I want you safe. Okay?” Jeremy couldn't even begin to say anything, just nodding into Trevor's shoulder.

Jeremy doesn't know how long they sat like that, on the floor of the bathroom, Jeremy crying into Trevor's shirt as Trevor said how much he cares for Jeremy. Trevor shouldn't, but he does, and Jeremy hasn't had someone care for him for a year and a half.


	3. And I Was His

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Courtney (Achievement_Hunter_Girl) for helping me with the outline for this chapter and personally my favorite line in this chapter.

Trevor was always the rock, always the shoulder to cry on or the person to vent to. Trevor was one of the most levelheaded and calm person Jeremy knew. Whenever he ranted to Trevor about some bullshit of something or other, Trevor always showed a lighter side to things. It was like he was some English teacher playing Devil’s advocate for a character, saying to see from their point of view or to think as to why they might respond like that. Jeremy hated it because it sounded like he was talking to a therapist, but Trevor always did make him feel better. That and Trevor blindly agreed that Jeremy was in the right, even when he clearly wasn't.

Trevor was always the rock, and Trevor not once needed his own comfort. He needed to be reeled in sometimes when he got a little too angry for anyone's good, but other than that his emotions consisted solely of three variants of calm. Jeremy was always surprised at things rolling off his back that most people would be aggressive at, instead often returning it with a polite yet condescending thank you. The only time Trevor let his emotions stray from their usual boundaries was when he was torturing some person and they were being too stubborn, but even then you could tell he still kept them contained.

Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

Yes, I know, and that is the serious and professional name.

The Fire Nation was a gang residing on the north side of Los Santos. The only thing known about them is that they took people for ransom, they burnt shit to the ground, and they did it well. So when Jeremy was forcibly taken by the Fire Nation during a compromised stealth heist, Trevor fell into a bunch of nervous habits that he hadn't done since he was a kid. He would absently bite his cuticles, and because of his CIPA, he wouldn't even tell he was doing it until he was doing it until he tasted blood. Same goes for his bottom lip.

Everyone else in the crew told him to cut it out when they caught him, and eventually someone (Gavin) told Caleb what Trevor was doing, and ended up with band aids on all his fingers and three packs of gum. Trevor just continued to bite his lip anyway.

Trevor is not a person that can handle knowing that there was nothing he could do to find or help Jeremy, and that he was powerless. He couldn't handle being trapped like this. If he was kidnapped, that would be better because at least Jeremy would be safe.

“Trevor.” Geoff snapped, and Trevor immediately looks up at him and stops biting his lip, surely there is a guilty expression on his face. “Look, I know you two are close, and I know this is hard, but you need to stop hurting yourself. It's not going to do anything good for you.”

“I can't help it, it just happens.” Trevor says lamely. Geoff takes pity on him.

“Get out of the house.” Geoff says. “Go on a walk, go see a movie, do something that isn't stressful. You sitting on your ass in here and it isn't helping you. Go do something.” Usually the rule when someone was kidnapped was to only travel with the buddy system, not leaving unless it was necessary. Trevor looked at him, surprised.

"Really?" Trevor asked.

"Did you eat?" Jack asks from the table, where she was reviewing public camera feed.

"Yeah." Trevor says.

"Then go." Geoff says, gesturing to the front door.

"Tell us if you are staying out somewhere!" Jack yells again, and Trevor nods before leaving, mumbling a sincere thanks.

Trevor doesn't know where he is walking, but it's somewhere away from the penthouse. Trevor doesn't pay attention to anyone, not that anyone pays attention to him. This wasn't fair. Jeremy shouldn't have been taken. He didn't deserve to go through this. For a criminal, he was the nicest person ever. Jeremy never took anything he didn't absolutely need, and was the most frugal out of everyone in the crew. He always kept a stash of twenties in his pocket for when he passed by a homeless person, handing them a bill and wishing them a warm place to sleep that night. He was a good person, he just was born into an unlucky life.

Trevor doesn't know how long he's been walking, but he feels the phone in his back pocket vibrate. He pulls it out to see Jack sent a text, asking if he'll be home. Trevor realizes that its nearly ten, and he didn't even notice. He was walking for hours. Trevor looks around to see he knew this part of town, and knew the penthouse was on the opposite side of the city. He didn't want to walk back in the dark, and he didn't feel like talking to someone to get a cab.

Trevor sent a text back, saying he was staying at his place. Jack's response was immediate, telling him to be safe. Trevor shoves his phone back into his pocket and looks down the street, seeing an apartment building he remembers fondly. It was where Jeremy's apartment was, and Jeremy had given him a key after Trevor got kicked out from his apartment because his landlord was a homophobe, and even though Trevor wasn't in a relationship then, his landlord was a fucking asshole anyway.

He walks to the building and opens the building's front door, hating the feelings of nostalgia that flood through him as he does. Trevor didn't have another choice though, so he goes up the flight of stairs to the second floor and to the first door on the left. Trevor pulls the key chain out of his front pocket, grabbing the key and unlocking the door.

Trevor feels like he is going to cry as he closes the door behind him. The apartment is the exact same as it always was. The pullout couch permanently in its pulled out state, game controllers and oreo packages laying on it. The kitchen was eerily tidy, never clean, but tidy. There was a small potted cactus on the kitchen table, the center of a pile of mail and newspapers. The fridge held at least sixty magnets, not including the word magnets.

The only thing out of place was the silence. It was never silent in there, even when it was in the dead of the night. Trevor loathed the silence.

Trevor quietly heads over to the only bedroom in the apartment, stationed at the end of the short hall. He pushed the door open to see the relatively clean room, still the sparsely decorated room he remembers. To be fair, it was a small room, barely able to hold anything bigger than a queen sized bed. Trevor sighs, walking over to the bed and sitting on it, it creaking slightly at his weight.

“Please be okay, Jeremy.” Trevor begged quietly. “I need you. Please.” Trevor feels broken, like he's missing a part of himself. Maybe because Jeremy was a part of his life, he has known Jeremy for almost five years now, and they had stuck together ever since. It sucked. Trevor laid down on the bed, feeling horrible as he drifts off to sleep.

The next morning Trevor didn't leave, staying at Jeremy's apartment instead of heading back. He sits on the couch and gets lost in his thoughts, absentmindedly picking at the bandages. Trevor sits for hours before realizing that he missed lunch and wasn't exactly sure if he ate breakfast. Trevor groans, moving from his spot on the couch to stand.

“Broke my schedule… of course.” Trevor mumbles as he stretches. He was going to have to be completely sure that he kept on it, otherwise it's going to take weeks to get back on it. He decides to go and eat something quick at a fast food place nearby instead of eating any of Jeremy's food.

As he walks out and turns to lock the door behind him, he was greeted with a familiar voice. “Trevor!” It was Ms. Bernswick, Jeremy's neighbor. She was an older lady who fit the grandma cookie cutter mold; two cats, a great cook, nicest person ever, you name it. Trevor forces a smile towards her.

“Hello Ms. Bernswick.” Trevor replies.

“I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been?”

“Fine.” Trevor lies. “Busy with work.”

“Where's Jeremy, isn't he usually with you? Oh, tell me you two didn't get in a fight.” She says with concern, and it takes all of Trevor not to freeze up.

“We're fine, he's visiting family.”

“That's good to hear, now, I have to go make some lemon squares for my bridge club. Would you like one Trevor?”

“No, that's fine, thank you for the offer.”

“Of course, dear.” She opens her own door, saying “Don't be a stranger!” before walking into her apartment and closing the door behind her. Trevor sighs. He felt bad for lying, but he shouldn't tell the elderly neighbor that Jeremy was kidnapped. It was basic common sense.

Trevor's forces down an order of fries as his food, and he could tell that he was not going to be able to eat anything else for the time being and gives up. He sometimes get texts from the crew, asking if he was still safe and if he was coming home for dinner, and Trevor did respond, as one worded as it may be. He just wanted to sit in Jeremy's apartment and hope that the next message was them saying they found Jeremy. It never was.

It was two days until Kdin told him that they had Jeremy and he was safe, and Trevor felt like the weight of a thousand pounds was off his shoulders. Jeremy was okay, and Trevor felt like crying. He made posthaste to the penthouse, jogging there quickly, barely weary of other people. Trevor made it in record time, openly complaining about how God damn slow the elevator was before he finally made it through the front door.

“Medical room.” Ryan says immediately from the couch, not even looking up from his book as he did. Trevor says a slightly winded word of thanks before moving quickly to the medical room. Trevor is in the medical room for two seconds before Jeremy's arms are wrapped around him tightly, and Trevor does the same.

The two hold each other in silence before Jeremy breaks the silence. “I was so worried.” He says into Trevor's shirt.

“Says the one who was kidnapped.” Trevor quietly teases, and Jeremy just hugs him tighter.

“I was worried I wasn't going to see you again.” Jeremy clarifies, shaking slightly.

“I'm here.” Trevor promises his boyfriend. “Everything is okay.” It's another thirty seconds before they break apart, and Jeremy frowns immediately.

“Trevor, you look sick.” Jeremy says, eyebrows knitted together in worry.

“I'm okay, it's just been a rough couple of days.” Trevor says, ignoring the onset of guilt from getting off his eating schedule. “I'll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.” Jeremy smiles weakly at Trevor's words. “How are you? What did they do?”

“Nothing more than reprimand injuries, I'm fine.” Jeremy starts. “They didn't really ask for any information, they just… held me.”

“I'm glad you're okay.” Trevor says, and Jeremy smiles.

“Of course I am.”

“God dammit.” Caleb says from the other side of the room, making Jeremy and Trevor look over. “I leave for one minute and you two are somehow already together. Can you let Jeremy rest?”

“No, I want my Lil J.” Trevor pouts, grabbing Jeremy and pulling him close. Caleb let's out a resigned sigh.

“Fine, you two get your rest together then.” Caleb relents. “But you have to rest.”

“What else would we do?” Jeremy asks, and Caleb gives him a stern look before leaving the room. Trevor and Jeremy both laugh after he's gone, and Jeremy gives Trevor another hug. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Trevor echoes before Jeremy let's go. Jeremy looks up at Trevor and he can tell that something was on Jeremy's mind. “Yes?”

“Did you break your schedule?” Jeremy asks, and Trevor looks away.

“I'm sorry, I tried sticking to it, I did, but I couldn't.” Trevor doesn't meet Jeremy's gaze, feeling extremely guilty.

“I'm not mad, Trevor.” Jeremy says, pulling Trevor into yet another hug. “I'm not, I promise. We'll get you back on track.”

“It's fine. I can do it on my own.” Trevor insists. “You don't need to worry about me.”

“Trevor-” Jeremy tries to object, but Trevor stops him.

“I'll be fine, you're the one who was kidnapped.” Jeremy has a worried look on his face, but he relents.

“You sure?”

“Of course.” Trevor punctuates his words with a kiss. Trevor could do this. He was able to do it before Jeremy, more or less, he should be able to do it now.

-

So Trevor couldn't do it now.

Trevor tried his damnedest, don't get him wrong, but eating for him was like making one of those fortune teller paper things three times a day. It served absolutely no purpose it seemed. Okay, yes, starving to death, but he can't feel when he's hungry. It wasn't a perfect analogy. Maybe him eating was more like wearing a seatbelt, it served no purpose until you died without it.

That being said, always wear your seatbelt.

Shitty analogies and questionable morals aside, Trevor didn't understand why he couldn't just eat. It was completely idiotic that he couldn't, it was just something he had to do. Except he never remembered, and when he did, he felt sick every time he tried to eat. He was barely scraping by with a meal a day, and he felt incredibly guilty for it. When he was around the others, he forced himself to pretend he was okay, that he was on his schedule. Trevor was incredibly thankful that Jack made dinner for the entire crew every night to make sure everyone was eating, even if all they could eat was a ham sandwich. Trevor ate as much as he could without seeming suspicious, and without feeling like he was going to throw it up.

Jeremy was even harder to lie to, and Trevor felt horrible everytime he said he ate when he most certainly didn't. Jeremy didn't push, thankfully. Jeremy still jumped when someone accidentally bumped into him, one of the temporary side effects of being kidnapped, Trevor couldn't dump his own burdens onto Jeremy while he was still recovering. It wasn't Jeremy's fault Trevor veered from his schedule, it wouldn't be fair to him to have to take care of Trevor's problems. Trevor was a goddamn adult and couldn't even remember to eat. It wasn't Jeremy's job to take care of him.

So Trevor lied to Jeremy's face, and he lied to the crew's face. He said he was okay, eating, all that, but he wasn't. Yes, he felt terrible, but he would rather them not worry than worry.

Sadly, Trevor wasn't as good as hiding this as he thought he was. Maybe it was because Jeremy knew what Trevor is like when he is hiding something. Jeremy knew Trevor wasn't sticking to his schedule, but he couldn't do anything about it. He was left to watch Trevor from afar with worry, hoping that Trevor would come talk to him about it. But Trevor never did, and Jeremy respected Trevor's space.

Ironically, Trevor didn't want Jeremy to respect his space. Trevor needed Jeremy. A part of Trevor told him to swallow his pride and go get Jeremy's help. He didn't, though, he couldn't. Jeremy shouldn't have to worry about Trevor. The two were at an impasse.

After two weeks, Trevor gave up all hope in returning to his schedule. He stopped eating completely, and didn't even bother checking himself for injuries anymore, something else that suffered from him breaking his schedule. Jeremy was completely filled with worry. He knew Trevor wasn't on his schedule and he knew that Trevor was being reckless by doing this. Jeremy needed to help Trevor, it was gnawing at him. Jeremy knew he shouldn't have let it get this far, and he was upset at himself that he did.

So Jeremy waited for when the penthouse will be the emptiest, the crew going out to have some fun before they started planning the next heist. Jeremy declined to go, saying people bumping into him still scared him to no ends (which it did). The majority of the crew left, only Kdin staying behind to work on something and Trevor left. As soon as they left, Jeremy went to find Trevor, surprisingly enough, he was in the medical room, getting a bandaid for when he cut his arm on the side of something.

“Trevor, can we talk?” Jeremy asked, and Trevor froze before looking up at him.

“You aren't breaking up with me, are you?” Trevor asked in a joking tone.

“God no.” Jeremy said. “I wouldn't in a million years.”

“Good.” Trevor smiled before continuing his search for the right sized band aid.

“Trevor, can you let me help you?”

“It's just a band aid, Jer, I'll find it.”

“You know that's not what I meant.” Trevor froze once more before responding.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I'm talking about the fact that you haven't eaten anything in days!” Jeremy exclaimed.

“I am eating!” Trevor shot back.

“Trevor, look me in the eye and tell me that you swear to god you have been eating.” Jeremy demanded, and Trevor didn't even bother looking in Jeremy's direction.

“I have it under control.” Trevor insisted.

“You slowly killing yourself isn't under control, let me help you!”

“Jeremy, listen to me-”

“I don’t fucking care what you say Trevor, I’m taking care of you!” Jeremy yelled, tears in his eyes. “You are all I have left, I can’t lose you too!” Silence followed after, the words hanging in the air. Trevor was shocked, hit with the realization of what he was doing. He realized how much he made Jeremy worry, how much he made Jeremy hurt. He was doing his best to not have Jeremy worry, to not have Jeremy be burdened with the responsibility of Trevor, when in reality, Trevor was just making everything worse. He decimated his schedules, to the point where it could take months to get back on them, just so Jeremy wouldn't have to worry. And Trevor was the only one that was keeping Jeremy afloat, after all these years, and he could have killed himself. Trevor has no idea how to respond. He is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, and combined with the weeks of guilt he has been carrying, Trevor breaks.

He starts crying.

Now, in all the time Jeremy knew Trevor, he has never once did cried. Yes, he got upset, but he never cried. Trevor was always the rock, being the one person Jeremy could let his walls down around. But now the roles were switched, and Jeremy had no idea what to do. So he did what Trevor always did. He came over to Trevor and wrapped his arms around him, Trevor accepted the younger man's hug, clutching at Jeremy's shirt and silently sobbing into his shoulder. Jeremy remained mostly quiet, only occasionally whispering that it was okay.

They always managed to bounce back. Always.


	4. But Now He's Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to that cynical ass kid in my science class named Nick that gave me the... insperation for this villain.
> 
> Also, shout out to Courtney again, for the base idea of this chapter.

Geoff, Ryan, Michael, Jeremy, and Trevor walked in the warehouse, everyone on high alert. No one wanted to make the trade, but there was no way around it. The gang they were trading with had a history of backstabbing behavior, ruthless when it comes to getting what they want. Geoff was not one to be easily intimidated, and made a showing of it. He brought in all the muscle of the crew with him while Jack, Gavin, Matt, and Caleb waited in a van down the street, tucked away in an alley, just to be safe.

The weren't alone when they walked in, which was somehow relieving yet scary. Geoff, of course, didn't even bat an eye. He was in business mode now, probably one of the scariest modes on Geoff. He had an end goal to reach, something that Geoff didn't care to draw blood to reach. The warehouse had crates all around, ones that everyone immediately identified as cover, which was both good and bad.

“To the white line, gentlemen.” The person said, and they all obeyed, hoping to keep this as clean as possible. The person was the gang leader, Nick Dubious, someone who was way too smart to end up in Los Santos and this side of the law. He was scrawny, but looks could be deceiving. “I see you brought your men.”

“I see you brought yours.” Geoff challenged.

“Touché.” He replied, holding up a plastic bag, filled with all the cellphones of elected government officials. “You want your… ‘diplomatic immunity’ or not?”

“How do we know you just aren't going to shoot us?” Geoff asked. Trevor noticed a beam of light be reflected, like by a mirror, and he glanced to the right of him to see a sniper, perched on the walkway and aimed directly at Jeremy. Trevor shifted closer to Jeremy, continuing his focus on Nick.

“Oh please, we both don't have time for this.” He went on. “We both need what the other person has, and we need to have a little faith.” Nick threw his bag over to the crew first, and Michael caught it and handed it over to Geoff. Geoff looked in and set his jaw, throwing their own plastic bag over, a load of cash inside. Nick catched his and opened it up, smiling at the contents.

“Was that so hard?” He asked, glancing up and to the right of the group, tensing up Trevor.

“Thanks for your time.” Geoff said sarcastically.

“Of course.” He nodded. “It was a pleasure.”

Trevor shoved his way in between the sniper and Jeremy, and just in time. The sniper pulled the trigger and shot Trevor accidentally, instead of Jeremy. Jeremy screamed and Geoff tackled him behind some crates, Ryan and Michael open fires, taking their own cover. “Jeremy,” Geoff tried, holding the younger man's shoulders. “Jeremy, please.” Jeremy didn't respond, and Geoff muttered an obscenity under his breath. “He's going into shock.”

“More pressing matters, dear!” Ryan replied, a bullet ricocheting off the crate he was behind. Geoff swore again and pulled out his phone, calling Jack.

“Yay or Nay?” Jack asked as she picked up.

“Trevor is most likely dead, Jeremy is shocked, and we're pin downed.”

“Nay.” Geoff flinched as a bullet flew close by. “We'll be there soon.”

“Please hurry up.” Geoff said before hanging up, taking his gun out and flicking the safety off, only slightly surprised to hear a small explosion. “Michael!”

“Excuse me for killing the people shooting at us!” Michael snapped as he pulled the pin of another grenade and throwing it over the crate. The explosion happened seconds later, and Michael grins that same sadist grin he gets when he causes mass destruction.

“Try hitting people!” Ryan critized, earning a middle finger response. “No really, it works!”

“Shut up Ryan!” Michael yelled back, pulling another pin and this time looking before throwing it.

“See?” Ryan replied, him and Geoff picking off those who were injured by the blast. It was silent afterwards, and Ryan cautiously poked his head up. “Is that all?”

A gunshot came from behind, and everyone looked to see Jack, gun pointed up towards the catwalk, where the sniper was. Standing with her was Gavin and Matt. They forgot the sniper completely. “Now that's all.” She replied. “Caleb, get in here.” Caleb ran through with his duffle bag of supplies, looking cautiously.

“Who's injured?” Caleb asked.

“Trevor first.” Geoff said, pointing in his direction. Caleb nodded and hurried over. “Gavin, go with Michael and Ryan and secure the area.” Gavin nodded and the three were off. “Jack, Matt, can you help Jeremy?”

“Of course.” Jack said, her and Matt heading over to Jeremy, who was still where Geoff pulled him to. Geoff headed over to Caleb, who looked over Trevor with a somber expression.

“Please tell me he'll be okay.” Geoff said, and Caleb sighed.

“I'm not keen on lying.” Caleb replied, and Geoff nodded. They were silent, Geoff trying to grasp the fact that Trevor wouldn't be around anymore. Michael and Gavin wouldn't be harassing Trevor to bang his shin into the wall, Jack wouldn't have to stop them in the middle of it. There wouldn't be anymore eerily calm responses to someone telling him that he was bleeding. There would be no more Trevor and Gavin attempting to make food and somehow both get set on fire.

There would be no more Trevor.

“Because of the height difference between Jeremy and Trevor,” Caleb continued after a too long amount of silence. “the bullet entered Trevor above his collarbone, it tore through his windpipe, and it got lodged in his spine. Depending on where it hit the spine, he could of been paralyzed from the neck down. And even if I was here as soon as he was shot, there would of been nothing I would be able to do.” Geoff nodded.

“What are we going to do about Jeremy?”

“I want to put him on antidepressants, since he has struggled with depression before Trevor, and… we all know how much they loved each other.” Caleb said, looking down. Geoff nodded once more, exhaling a stuttered breath.

“Jeremy, sweetie, I need you to come back.” Jack said to the shaking Jeremy, but he didn't respond. She took one of his hands in hers, trying to ground him. “Jeremy, we need you.”

“Jer.” Matt said from beside her. “You need to calm down and focus. Four seven eight, four seven eight.” Surprisingly, Jeremy heard that, and made a conscious effort to breathe.

“How did you know that would work?” Jack asked.

“Jeremy got panic attacks a lot after he was taken for two weeks.” Matt said, shrugging slightly as he referenced when B-Team was its own crew. “He could calm down if he remembered to breathe, and we found that you're supposed to breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven, and breathe out for eight. Even during the worst of the panic attacks, that was the one thing that could get through.” Jack watched as Jeremy slowly calmed down, waiting until Jeremy squeezed her hand to speak.

“You're going to be okay, Jeremy.” Jack promised.

“I don't care if I will be okay.” Jeremy said, breathing picking up again. “Is Trevor okay?”

“Jeremy, breathe.” Matt ordered, and Jeremy struggled to get his breathing back under control.

“Is he okay?” Jeremy asked again. “Please, just give me an answer.”

“Jeremy.” Caleb said this time, coming around to tell the younger man. Jeremy looked up at Caleb. “I'm sorry to say, but Trevor is dead.” Jeremy started to tear up and he looked down, down at his knees and shaking his head slightly. “You have my sympathies.”

Jeremy's rock was gone, the one person he had left to live for was gone.

The crew did not take Trevor's loss well, it was the second person the crew loss, dead to some asshole with a gun, and they barely had time to recover from the first. Nick someone was able to make it out of most of the firefight, but Michael found him and they dragged him back to the penthouse, Ryan storing him in their torture room. Ryan didn't start torturing him, however, not until two weeks after. After Jeremy went to see him.

Jeremy walked in the room, getting the attention of the man bound to the wall immediately. Ryan had made sure that all contact Nick had was brief, and involved zero words spoken. The only reason anyone was allowed in was to give him food. Nick sneers, knowing damn well why Jeremy was the first person to come in without food. “How's your friend?” He asked, and Jeremy didn't respond, just watching emotionlessly as he played with his wedding band.

“You're lucky that he took the bullet for me.” Jeremy said.

“And why is that, cupcake?”

“Because I don't torture. My ‘friend,’ however, managed to pull off a blood eagle, all the way to the end.” Jeremy didn't have any feelings towards the man, not because of choice, the antidepressants Caleb gave him made him feel just numb in general. Not the best choice in medicine, seeing as depression also did that to him, but now he was just more willing to talk to others. “The person who not so willingly volunteered his body for the blood eagle did not have a swift death, and I can promise you, you won't either.”

“And I'm supposed to be scared, why?”

“Because you know the Vagabond is doing it, and I have seen him torture people for months for far less than what you have done.”

“You killed all of my men!”

“And you killed one of our’s first.” Jeremy said. “We don't take too kindly to people who do that.”

“Well cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and get over it!”

“I would make yourself at home if I were you, because you won't see anything past this room for the rest of your life.” Jeremy turned to leave, ignoring the retort he had. After his conversation with Nick, he was able to begin to feel better. Maybe knowing that he was doomed to the hell Ryan was going to give him made him feel better, maybe it was because he could put himself at ease for knowing that Trevor would be getting justice.

How Jeremy was coping was always fluctuating, sometimes he was angry and took it out on the others, sometimes he was seeming more like his normal self, and other times he was distant from the others, always playing with his wedding band. Jeremy was doing his best though, going out with the crew when they went out, eventually being able to hold a conversation with them once again, even laughing a few rare occasions. Soon enough, him being angry and distant seemed less and less. They would still pop up, but Jeremy was himself more now. Eventually Jeremy mentioning Trevor transitioned from pained loss to fond memories. And everyone was there, every step of the way.

Loss is a funny thing, because you not only lose someone you care about, but parts of yourself. You lose who you cared for, who you loved, who you never wanted to be without; and you lose the person you were with them, the world that only you two shared, the way you experienced life with them. But eventually everyone heals from their loss. Never completely, but if they allow themselves to recover, to heal from a wound fate has given them, they can live on again, just with a few scars.

And now, Jeremy has another scar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the extremely less angsty then what David and I made over Tumblr Messaging.

**Author's Note:**

> I intended this to be only four chapters, but if someone (you know who you are) encourages me in any way, I will definitely add more.
> 
> Kudos, comment, and request for a fic below. I do more than pain but I mean, pain is what I'm good at.


End file.
